Get Over It
by P.L.S
Summary: Harry gets left in the Black House with no one but the old family portraits to talk to and a kitchen full of junk he has to be creative with to get dinner out of. Thankfully Snape comes over for a visit.


Title: Just Get Over It

Author: P.L.S groups. Pairing(s): Phineas Nigellus/Calliope MacNair, Marcelo Bones/Dementia Lestrange (Yeah, 3/4ths of them are OC's but I'm working in like 1850.)

Present Time Pairing(s): Pre Harry/Severus (I know it's typical, but it works with the plot and the surprises.)

Challenges: 68. Confessions of a drunk Slytherin 85. Death Eaters aren't the only underground group to come out of Slytherin. 107. What happens when a Slytherin student becomes Head Boy/Girl? Bonus if it's not a Malfoy.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Nothing much, unacceptable behavior for a roll model, but nothing more.

Disclaimer: Oh, ouch . . . that didn't go as planned. Well. . . before my Voldie starts yelling at me for being less than a proper Death Eater let alone Slytherin about that last failed heist I have to let you know I don't own Harry and the rest! Otherwise I'd be lounging in the arms of a sinfully lovely Lucius in his manor with a relaxed but clever Severus at our feet and two yummy servant boys (in black silk loincloths and silver chains) and by the names of Harry and Draco at our beck and call.

Summary: In the summer before his sixth year Harry finds himself alone in Number 12 Grimmuald Place and the family portraits for company. Phineas and Harry bond in a moment of mutual drunkenness he shares some of his school day stories with the Gryffindor. Family secrets and a new Black is uncovered.

Author's Notes: I've loved Phineas from the first word he spoke, he's like an older Sev and Sirius all in one! As a member of one of the darkest wizarding families ever (I don't think even the Malfoy's could out do a family with a name like Black) he does show a good deal of heart when he talked to Harry and got him out of that funk he was in. BTW, do I get bonus points for alliteration and other literary devises?

* * *

Oh, yeah.' Harry thought as he wandered the deserted halls of the Black family home, Remus and everyone had to leave for a week in the Wilds of Africa as Tonks put it.' He had just woken up and was started when he didn't hear any of the usual noises that his flatmates' made at every waking moment. He was confused at first but after a few minutes (okay, fifteen, but who's counting) he finally recalled their words that they yelled at him as they chased him to bed.

As he walked the halls, he made his usual morning greetings to Sirius's ancestors, always polite even if they hated his breeding and told him so everyday. There were a few who had warmed up to him, with was quite funny because no one else could get so much as a civil hello out of even the only Hufflepuff of the lot.

Good morrow, Lady. Harry said with a slight bow to a portrait of a rather pompous looking woman in full formal dress from the fifteen hundreds. She cooly looked down at him and then Harry saw the sparkle of amusement. She gave a small smile and nodded her head.

Good morrow, young Sir. How does this stillness greet you? Odd, is it not? she inquired. Harry grinned.

Very well, very well in deed. I dare say most of your family feels the same way, I dare say I've gotten more greetings this day than on any other. How does this day find such a lovely wallflower as yourself? He smirked as she blushed. If there was one thing he was learning quickly, it was how to charm and flatter almost anyone. It aided him in not only getting a few of the portraits to treat him with something other than contempt, but also in getting to stay here alone during the absences of the aurors and other order members that happened at times.

The charm also helped him to hide his growing aches at having to live where his godfather once grew up. He had nightmares that got very vivid and at times daymares, they were always of Sirius, his death or of the man blaming Harry for his idiocy. He was turning into quite the little actor and that too added to the guilt that was eating at him.

Mayhaps, you wish to lighten your heart? asked the Lady sweetly. Harry smiled as sweetly as he could.

Not just yet. I still have lessons to learn from the pain. Harry answered and she sighed and gave a half a laugh.

Young Sir, dare I say, you are more like the members of this noble house than you give yourself credit for. When you are ready I, Lady Narcissa LeStrange, am a willing ear for only you. Harry said his thanks and went to the kitchen where he found the house rules written out for him (even if he was the only one other than Snape who bothered to pay attention to half of them, the rest forgot' the rules hourly.) He also found the cupboards full to overflowing with food. It ranged from the obscenely healthy granola mixes to the obscenely unhealthy bulk sized can of chocolate sirup. Harry rolled his eyes, some wizards really did need to take a crash course in logic and common sense.

I see you feel the same way about that collection of idiots that are supposed to be saving the bloody world. said the portrait of Broomhilda, the cooky, in a gruff voice tinted with frustration. She was in her frame scowling at the muddled mess of mostly muggle merchandise. Harry smiled.

If you mean that my caretakers seem to be getting me ready to die of high blood sugar levels or something of that nature, then yes. Harry answered, the cooky nodded to him and gave him a weary smile.

Well, let's see what we can make out of this mess. I think I can talk you through a few things that will last you, muffins, soup, and the like. I was a great cook in my day, I taught a fair number of folks my arts too. I think I can teach you. I've seen you help out in here before, you're not bad with a fry pan, but your knife work is nowhere near as good at that man with the peg leg, nor are you skilled with a fire like that Snape fellow. Now there's a man you should emulate in the kitchen, he is a skilled chef if I ever did see one. Broomhilda ordered Harry around all morning and by noon he had a dozen oversized strawberry and granola muffins, a nice thick vermillion tomato soup, and several loaves of her specialty bread in the ovens, baking and filling the kitchen with the sweet smell of cinnamon and other spices. As he munched on some of the fruits of his labors the cooky and those who were visiting her all chatted with him as if he was part of the old family.

Harry smiled and chatted between bites and sips of his meal and was very impressed at how he was being adopted by the painted family and their friends. Even Sirius's mum wasn't totally nasty to him that day, it was very nice that just getting on the good side of a few good portraits could get him so far with the rest.

He mused over his day as he relaxed into his bed that night. Overall it was as productive as his morning. He just couldn't understand how Sirius couldn't get along with his family portraits and how he went stir crazy. Cooking alone could make a serious dent in the day if you tried the harder things that Broomhilda told him of. But then there was just so much cleaning that needed to get done and now that the family' was warming up to him they told him of the rooms that needed his attention and as long as he never damaged the heirlooms and the texts that they all collected when they were alive they granted him access to everything. It wasn't a hard promise to make on his part, though a few artifacts made him a bit queazy he was intrigued and was more than happy to work around them. All the work had made him forget his guilt and grief, but now it was seeping back into his heart.

So, you made yourself useful today? the familiar drawl of Phineas Nigellus drew Harry's attention to the portrait above his dresser. Harry sighed.

Yeah. I started in the kitchen and worked my way into the Green Room. Harry said tiredly. He was really starting to feel the effects of all the labor, both magical and physical. Harry didn't even note the former headmaster's look of surprise.

The Green Room? You sure about that, boy? Harry laughed at the question.

I just cleaned more implements of medieval torture than there are scrolls in the Library, yeah, I'd say I'm sure. Harry answered with a sardonic look at the man in the frame who looked amused, Let me guess, the collection is a multigenerational effort? Harry asked. Phineas laughed.

Of course. And that old coot said you'd never fit in. Dumbledore really has lost his Golden Boy, hasn't he? Harry frowned at his words. Looking to the window, Harry sighed and pulled his knees to his chest.

I've always wondered if that hat was right about me, if I should have been a Slytherin. I mean, I was practically born to kill. I was marked by Voldemort for the job of his executioner or his key to living forever, and I can't tell which is worse. Harry said. Phineas sighed.

You need to figure that out then, don't you? snapped the portrait. Harry nodded.

Yeah. Is there a self-help book out there on this sort of thing? Harry laughed weakly. Phineas rolled his eyes.

Of course. It's called Wake Up From Your Delusions. I have to go report back to Dumbledore. Don't worry I only tell him the bare minimum. with that the man vanished from his frame.

Harry sighed and curled back up under the sheets. Harry really did understand that what the man said was partially true and would, in the long run, help him, but never the less it confused and hurt him. He just couldn't understand the old headmaster any more than he could understand Snape.

* * *

It was day eight of the Africa trip, and Hedwig had just brought him word that they were all stuck there for another five weeks. To make the lack of human interaction worse, the same post also informed Harry that only Snape was currently available to bring him food, but due to a potion he was researching and the fact that Dumbledore understood that Harry could wait, it would be five days before Snape could bring him food, or rather the list of things Harry had made. None of it was the ready to eat food that Harry and Hilda had been agonizing over to turn into world-class meals for one for the past six days. Hilda personally over saw the food section of the list, she even got agonizingly detailed over the meats and flours she wanted for Harry. And of course, Harry asked for a great deal of cleaning potions, rags, and potion ingredients, as well as a few books Geoff Black, the library portrait and stereotypical Dark Ravenclaw, suggested for Harry to read so that he could understand more of the Black Library.

Because he was busy at every waking hour of the day Harry was assaulted every night now, and that just made him try harder to forget. He was now avidly reading spell books, which were mostly Dark arts texts, and that was the reason all the Blacks, even those that supported Voldemort in life, were now calling him their heir and showing him more of the secrets of the house. He took great pride in finding out that while the House of Black may have approved of Voldemort's ideas, his methods grated on a fair number of the elders and thus he didn't have a clue just how Dark the family was and how powerful. The same elders were now looking at Harry with pride and confidence, and giving him their most treasured items of power as well as scrolls and books filled with the old knowledge of the House. Even Harry had to admit it, learning the Dark arts was intoxicating and it felt as natural as breathing to him, even the Dark potions.

It was because of this he was almost buried in texts and his own notes when Phineas came to check on him on the tenth day. He was in the upper parlor, just breezing through yet another scroll by Thresimicus Nigellus, one of the rare relatively pacifist Dark Lords. This one was a brilliant and well worded discussion of cross-species Transfiguration, centering on his discovery of the animal-magus talent. Transfiguration was one of the greatest talents of most Blacks, but Dark arts was a very close second.

Maybe my family is correct in saying you are a Black. Phineas said after it was apparent Harry had no clue he was there. Harry half-jumped, but not out of fear, not anymore. It was odd, but he was beginning to feel at home, even if he just wanted someone to come into contact with him, even if it was a blow to the gut.

Why do you say that, sir? Harry asked. Phineas smiled as best he could at the boy, he was pleased to finally get some respect.

The family and house are growing on you with unheard of ease, you are progressing nicely in your studies, and you actually understand that paranoid old git's scrolls. He cursed them so that only blood relatives could read them. I am starting to think that the Potters were a bastard branch of the Blacks. Harry smiled and nodded.

Glad to hear that someone is thinking like I am. I kind of suspected, but I don't like to voice my ideas unless forced by circumstances. Harry said and the headmaster laughed.

There's the last trait. You're a Slytherin in a lion's skin. Maybe a future Dark Master, if not Lord. But never the less, how's the food holding up?It's not what I and Hilda would like to work with, but adequate for my needs. Tell Dumbledore that before he lets those guys go shopping for me or anyone, that they need a detailed list from a chef or well trained cook. You don't know how hard it is to cook meat balls with a chocolate and tomato sauce. I just managed to get the right amounts of spice as well as create a charm that took three quarters of the sugar out of the sirup they left me. Hilda does make a lot of sense in making me use that chocolate to stretch the other foods, but I'm sick of the stuff. Some sushi would be a lifesaver right now. Harry grinned at the smirking portrait.

I'll see what I can do. Now on to my questions, and things that Dumbledore will never hear. I really don't know what anyone was thinking when they let that old coot take over my school. He's an abhorrent roll model, he has so many side projects and a war going on that he really doesn't put the needed time and energy into the school that he should. When I was in that office I at least put the school first. Phineas complained. Harry listened and made no comment on any of it. He had stopped defending Dumbledore to this man as soon as he walked into the house, it was pointless. Phineas tried to smile at Harry, Now, how's your training going. I've already talked to the rest of the family, but I want to hear how you think you are doing.Well, learning the family magics is harder than I thought it would be. I'm going to have to work a long time to master transforming into a spectral creature, I think a shadower or lethifold would be the best match for my energy and talents. Harry said as he started trying to organize his notes, As for the Dark magic training, Geoff, Lady LeStrange, and Count Black are all pushing me as hard as they can. They all are convinced that by the time my caretakers return I will be the youngest wielder of the Staff.I'm impressed. They didn't tell me that, but if you do carry the Black Staff you are the official patriarch of the family, and owner of all our properties. It's such an old tradition that it's wizarding law. Phineas Nigellus smirked evilly, Dumbledore isn't going to be happy to see you resurrect one of the oldest families in history. He was offended by Marcia Black when she turned down his proposal, and I think subconsciously he's pleased to see the house die. Harry nodded, Marcia Black was the elder sister to Sirius's grandfather, she died when she was rather young. She loved to gossip with Hilda as they were in the kitchen. The thought of Sirius crept in again. Harry bit his lip in order to try to ease the pain, but it was heartache, not a curable disease.

What's the matter? Phineas snapped at Harry.

Er. . . I'm fine. Harry answered. Phineas looked pointedly at Harry's hands, which were mangling a page of his notes. Harry growled and pulled out his wand, _Restorio Parchment_. he said and the piece looked as good as new, notes and all.

What's the matter, boy? he asked again in a biting tone. Harry rolled his eyes.

I just feel like I'm dying, on the inside. I'm fine as long as I'm busy, but as soon as I think about anything but cleaning, cooking, or training, I'm ready to just curl up and wait for Voldemort to come and kill me. Harry said, not looking at the frame now.

Don't be a fool boy. It seems we need to dig out your godfather's collection of ale and have a nice long heart to heart.

* * *

Harry pointed his wand at a keg and a tankard, _Inscripto Portrait Vero_. then next to the stunned old headmaster was the keg and tankard. Harry smirked and laughed as Phineas tasted the ale.

his eyes were closed and he was really smiling, That is good. They don't paint enough pictures of alcohol, and most of us in the portraits are former alcoholics. So it's not a great combination. Harry nodded as he filled his own tankard from his own keg. Harry had to take a few sips to get used to the flavor, but soon he was reveling in the goodness of alcohol and the best ale that Sirius had stashed in the cellar.

So, what are you going to do now that you are the last Black. Phineas asked. Harry snorted.

Fix this bloody place up. The house elf heads are depressing, so I'll move them to the Green Room. I've got to get that attic cleaned up, It will make a good physical training room. The kitchen needs to be modernized, so I'll probably be charming muggle appliances for that. I'll probably need to find a house elf or two to help me keep the place in good order once I'm done with that. Harry said as he drank more ale.

Sounds good, what are you going to do about the manor and the lands? he asked. Harry sighed.

How bad is it? Harry asked. Phineas sighed.

It's more of a question of who resides there. Bellatrix claims ownership of them all, but as patriarch you have every legal right to cut off her access to the family vault and the properties. Harry nodded as Phineas explained.

She's not going to like me much, but I think I'll permit her to use the manor at my pleasure as well as set up a separate account for her to use. I don't like the thought of her having access to the funds I'll need to restore the house and whatever else has fallen into disrepair. I'm going to see about restoring the family as well. I understand that to watch your family turn away from traditions hurts, but it is unfair to just disown them for something so petty. Family is important. Harry looked up at Phineas who was in deep thought.

It's your right, but that's a lot of family you'll be adding. Just look at the tree now, it's added your lineage. Harry looked over at the tapestry, it seemed that his own heritage was long and quite unusual. It seemed to twist around the Black tree like a vine. Harry got up and started to read the names, Godric Gryffindor, and Salaazar Slytherin started it, their children's grandchildren married to form the Black family. Several generations down a Florina Black married a Dominic Smith. Then another several generations down a Mercusio Malfoy married a Harmony Smith. Then their daughter, Margaret, married a Branford Potter, but next to his name was a dark M' for muggle. Their line vanished for a few generations until a Peter Potter married a Estrallia Nigellus. From there it spiraled down to James Potter and Lily Riddle, Harry looked up at his mother's line, she was Tom Riddle's daughter by a muggle woman named Pansy Evans. Harry looked up more, this line came straight from Salaazar Slytherin, with no other magical families marrying into the line, but a lot of squibs and muggles were there. Harry blinked. He was Voldemort's only known grandchild? Harry was blown away and Phineas's laughter was not helping at all.

Wow, that is a soap opera moment there. Phineas said with an ill-consealed grin as Harry turned to glare at him.

Well, now I really don't know if I should bother with Voldemort. Does Dumbledore know? Harry asked. Phineas shook his head.

He has no clue that you are a Black or Voldemort's grandchild. Would you like him to know? Harry shook his head.

No. The last thing I need is for them to know that I have to kill a family member. Harry sighed as he drank more ale. He and Phineas sat in silence for a while, just drinking and Harry was reading a work journal by Vindictus Viridian, a curse expert and a muggle-born who studied under Geoff. He was one of the rare muggle-borns that the Black family liked, but not enough to let him into the basement lab and storage areas.

So, did anyone ever tell you about my schooldays? Phineas asked after a moment. Harry looked up, and narrowed his eyes to focus.

No. All I really know about your life is that you were the most hated Hogwarts headmaster. Harry answered as he refilled his tankard.

Oh. Well, when I was your age I was studying that book for my hobby, pranking Gryffindors and my professors. That is another family tradition. Phineas smirked but Harry noted that he too was feeling the effects of the alcohol, I, of course, rarely got caught. Ah, those were the days, my allies and I were more infamous than those Marauders that Dumbledore used to watch for amusement. Phineas laughed.

Yes, you think that I was a little angel? Hardly, I was the leader of the single most influential society to come out of Slytherin at that time. . .

* * *

A taller teen was sitting on the chair closest to the fireplace of the dungeon common room. He was pouring over a scroll that he owled home for just a week ago. It was an informative text by one of the first animagi ever, and his ansetor.

Hey, Nigellus. What you reading? asked a petite redhead as she came into the common room with her pet python, Monty, around her neck. The boy looked up and grinned.

I'm doing last minute reading for my transformation tonight. Phineas smiled as he spoke. She grinned back.

Okay, spill! What did you pick! she asked excitedly as she ran and vaulted over the back of the couch and landed on the seat with a grin.

I was thinking about a basailik. He grinned as she laughed.

That is just not you. So? she probed. Phineas smirked.

I am going to be an incubus. Do you approve, MacNair? The girl nodded.

Oh, a nightmare demon. It suits you very well, Nigellus. I wish that my family magic was as cool as yours. Animal handling and healing are just so dull compared to Transfiguration and Dark arts. she said as she let Monty slither over to Phineas.

Oi! Heads up, we need alibis. McGonagall just tattled to Mayer. Yelped Marcelo Bones as he and the fifth year girl, Dementia Lestrange ran in to the room, both looking a bit mussed and tired from some activity other than running. Dementia's blush and swollen lips were a silent statement of their activities. MacNair grinned at them and then both she and Phineas laughed, they both had yet to get caught with their lovers.

Okay. Yes we were being a bit spontaneous, but as fellow Slytherins you could back us instead of laughing. snapped Dementia as she straightened her robes and pointed her wand at her disheveled hair. With a whispered word her dark tangled locks started to smoothly cascade down her back in gentle waves. She instantly looked credible, Bones still had the Just Laid' look which Dementia corrected. She then snatched a book from a third year and shoved her boyfriend into a chair. She then walked to the couch under the tapestry of a dragon happily and noisily munching on a knight.

She's good. Calliope MacNair mused, clearly impressed.

Okay, I'll cover for them. Phineas said, MacNair kissed him on the cheek, Okay! Everyone! If anyone asks Lestrange was studying in here all night and Bones has been chatting with MacNair and I all evening. Any details, say you're not sure or something to that effect, but not too sarcastic. At that moment the door to the common room flew open and a rather tired looking Professor Gorgias led the very peeved Professor Mayer into the heart of Arx Serpens.

Now who can yawn lead us to Mr. Bones and Miss Le- yawn Lestrange? Phineas smiled inwardly at the act that his house master was using to get more of a rise out of the prudish Gryffindor house master. As the head boy, and leader of the students, Phineas walked forward.

I'd be happy to help you, professors. Dementia is studying over there, she has been most of the night. Marcelo has been with Calliope and I most of the night as well, we were chatting by the fire. If I may inquire, why should you require them as of now? Phineas said. Gorgias nodded.

Sure, Professor Mayer claims that a student reported that they were caught in a rather compromising situation just a moment ago. the charms professor said with a smirk, Mayer looked very angry at that. Phineas took on a shocked expression.

But how? I can personally vouch for Bones, and I'm sure a fair number of us can vouch for Lestrange too. Are you sure the student wasn't just trying to spread slander, it's a common action taken by the jealous, bitter, and immature? On it went for a few minutes, then Mayer left in a huff and Gorgias warned the students to be careful not to get caught.

Phineas slumped into his chair when the door shut, I hate those Gryffindors. Phineas looked to Bones who was already making out with Lestrange again, Bones, go get Zonko and Malfoy. They should be in Zonko's secret lab', tell them we need the latest plans.

Bones left the room after one last kiss, that lasted two minutes, and soon was back with Loki Zonko and Hermes Malfoy, the two most brilliant minds in their year. Zonko was a virtuoso with anything that required wand work, while Malfoy was brilliant with arithmancy and his unique potions. Both were naturals at anything requiring stealth and with the magical gifts of MacNair and Bones and the magical and political powers of Phineas, there was nothing out of reach for the group. Slowly Lestrange was being accepted as were the genius second years, Zachariah Snape and Theopolios Rosier, and a few others like the flirt, Mackenzie Moon, the seer, Cassandra Trelawney, and the chess master, Francis Moody.

Soon, Bones, Zonko, MacNair, and Malfoy were sitting with him in a loose circle and Phineas threw up a Silencing Shield as well as an Obscuring Charm. The plotting went quickly and the next week McGonagall went to sleep in his dorm and awoke on the parapets of the north most tower. Slytherins were blamed, but nothing was proven.

* * *

So you actually did that! Harry laughed, Phineas looked sheepish.

I don't know. Zonko and Malfoy created the plan, all the rest of us did was give up magical energy to power the charmed bed. That was how most of our more creative pranks went, those two drew up the plans and the rest of us carried them out or created ironclad alibis. Once we recruited the rest of the group, things got interesting. Moody and Snape were both flawless spies as well as masters at planning. Moon always managed to help us snare our scapegoats or test dummies. Trelawney's gift helped out a great deal and Rosier was a brilliant researcher for Malfoy and Zonko. I still was the leader and always ensured that the goods, funds, and support was there. We called ourselves Discord's Children, and we stayed as a functioning secret society up until our old age and death. Phineas explained slurring a few words. Harry nodded.

Must be nice, having a big group like that to draw on for help. At school all I have is Ron and Hermione, but I have a feeling I'll be the third wheel soon. Harry took a nice long drink of his ale. The night continued that way, both drinking and sharing tales until Harry and Phineas passed out.

* * *

Harry was jerked awake by the earsplitting noise. Blearily he took out his wand and made the ale vanish in a poof of smoke. Phineas was still asleep.

How come yawn he gets to be the yawn heavy sleeper? Harry mussed as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

the thunder made his head split open. Harry stumbled out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen, where Snape was seething. Harry rolled his eyes and started the wood stove with a flick of his wand. Another flick sent the tea kettle that was full of water to sit on a burner. Harry gestured for Snape to take a seat and Harry started to prepare a breakfast for two. He ignored the potions master for the most part and Broomhilda made conversation with Snape, telling him all about how proud everyone was to have a good powerful heir again. Harry levitated the two plates of food to the table and then ate as Snape glared at him.

Potter. What is the meaning of this? Snape growled, Harry winced as his head pounded.

Ugh, please not so loud. I really haven't gotten over the first headache yet.What headache? Why didn't Nigellus report back last night? Why do you smell like ale? Snape look absolutly disgusted, Harry chuckled weakly.

Er. . . we kind of had a heart-to-heart last night. Mostly confessional for our misdeeds in school. Harry saw the kettle flash, signaling the water was just right. Harry muttered a few charms and soon was sipping on coffee as Snape was staring at Harry as if he grew another head. Snape then scowled and muttered something incoherent. Harry yawned and took another bite of his dried fruit.

So I'm guessing you got pissed and Nigellus decided to baby-sit you. Snape said testily. Harry shook his head negatively.

We both got pissed on Sirius's best brew. Phineas is still slumbering away in the upper parlor, I think he's really feeling it. Any ways, sorry we didn't think to send one of Kenzie's birds off to warn you guys. All the stress and cabin fever has really been adding up and Phineas decided that the best way to get some of the pressure off of me was to get intoxicated and spill our guts to each other.

How much do you actually recall?I'm not sure, I don't remember much past Phineas telling me how Loki got caught with a set of twins in Mayer's office. Luckily it was Calliope who found them, and she managed to keep Mayer distracted so that they could hide. I never guessed that the whole prank-thing was a family tradition like the transfigurations and Dark arts, but as it is I'm not making up for lost time there. Harry said as he started to eat his chocolate muffin.

What are you talking about? Are you that heir that cook was going on about? Snape asked with a glare. Harry swallowed his muffin and washed it down with a gulp of coffee.

Yeah, who else? It seems that on my dad's side I'm a relative of the Blacks and since I'm using the Black Staff, I'm the patriarch. As soon as I can I'm adding my wand to the staff and taking full claim. That way I can get some control over Lestrange and the Malfoys. It will also give me a bit more power over the rest of the Death Eaters as I'm also Voldemort's bastard grandchild. You should see the family tree, I'm the decedent of both Gryffindor and Slytherin. It really is the most odd thing. I'm related to almost everyone who wants me dead. Harry smiled as he explained.

Have you been studying the family magics? Snape asked carefully. Harry munched on his muffin some more, trying to figure out if Snape would tell Dumbledore. Finally, Harry decided on a leap of faith, he really did need someone like Snape to help him out as well as the whole pensive mess to make up for.

Yes and I'm finding the Dark arts to be as easy as breathing. Harry said. Snape looked shocked and like he was doubting his own sanity as well as Harry's.

But. . . why are you telling me this? Snape asked suspiciously. Harry grinned.

I owe you the truth, and I trust you not to breathe a word to Dumbledore. Harry watched as Snape thought it all over, and then finally he took a bite of his own chocolate muffin.

They finished breakfast in peace and then Snape enlarged the boxes of goods. Harry grinned as he put the food away, he was eagerly anticipating cooking with proper ingredients. Then Harry re-shrunk and lightened the box of cleaning supplies and the box of potion ingredients and books.

Thank you, sir. Improvising was getting a little dull, and I'm getting sick of chocolate. Do you want to come with me? I've got to restock the lab and then reorganize the library, I'm afraid I left it a bit of a mess last night. Harry said. Snape stood.

I might as well. he grumbled and Harry nodded. Harry led Snape to the basement and then to the potions lab that used to belong to Spencer LeStrange but had been used throughout the ages by friends of the House of Black. Harry stopped in front of the portrait of Lady Minerva Nigellus.

Good day, dear Lady. Harry greeted her.

Good day, young Sir. Pray tell, how may I be of service to the young master of the House today? she asked while eyeing Snape. Harry grinned.

Passage to Spencer's lab. But tell me is there anything that needs my attention today? Harry asked her. She looked Snape over again and then turned her gaze on Harry.

You still are ill-dressed for your station. she snorted in disdain, I just can't understand how those fools just let you live in ill-fitting garments. You're the next Lord Black! Never the less, none of the rooms are in dire need of help, but Geoff was most eager to have you transform tonight. at that she smiled at him warmly and the portrait swung open to let them in.

Thank you. Come on. Harry and Snape entered the lab. While Snape looked around Harry quickly restocked the shelves with the goods that Snape brought as well as started to grab a couple of the work journals from the shelves.

Snape was flipping through an old tome when Harry turned his attention on him, Er. . . Professor Snape? Harry asked nervously. Snape turned and looked at Harry who held out the work journals to him.

What are these? Snape asked as he took in the decrepit looking books.

They used to belong to your relatives. The House of Black as always had strong ties of friendship or at least strong alliances with your family, as such this lab has been used by many Snapes, almost more than Malfoys and Blacks. I think you would want to own the work that your ancestors did, and maybe you'd take up my invitation to use the labs whenever there is need. Harry said and was pleasantly surprised to see Snape's shock as he opened the topmost book.

This is, Snape paused and pinned Harry with his gaze, you didn't need to do this. Snape said in a cool tone that made Harry inwardly cringe.

Yes I did. I need you to trust me as much as I trust you not to speak of the things I'm learning and especially not of my family. I need to deal with that on my own or at least without Dumbledore for now. Harry sighed and sank onto a stool, This is going to be a big maneuver, one I'd like your help on. After all, if everything I've seen and heard is true, one Snape has always had more value than two Malfoys when it comes to things like this. Harry gave a grim smile to Snape as he ran a hand through his hair.

Snape watched Harry with his calculating gaze, and Harry watched him with hope shining in his eyes. Snape couldn't believe that this was the new patriarch of the eldest Dark house in magical Europe, he never really pictured the Boy-Who-Lived as a Dark wizard, let alone willing to try to exert any power over several of the most deadly wizards and witches in modern times. It really wasn't like the Gryffindor he was in school, let alone the savior image that the headmaster was trying to mold Potter into. It was the first time Severus Snape understood that this Potter was as different from his father as the night was from the day.

In a moment that Snape was sure he was going to regret later on he spoke, I'll ally my self with you, if only to watch this insanity come full circle. Harry's smile lit up the younger wizard's face and his eyes shone with glee. Harry jumped off of the stool and laughed.

Perfect! I'm going to go make lunch, you can stay here or just walk around, the portraits should be relatively polite and willing to help you. Do you have anything you need to get done or do you think you can stay the night? Harry asked. Snape looked thoughtful.

Why would you want your potions professor to stay overnight? Snape asked, Harry smiled roguishly.

I'm attempting to transform into my animagus form tonight. I thought that maybe you would like to make sure I don't overtax myself. Snape raised an eyebrow.

And what form have you chosen? Snape got worried at Harry's grin.

I'm still trying to pick between a shadower and a lethifold. Snape rolled his eyes. It figured that Harry Potter would want to become the first lethifold animagus in history or the second shadower. Both took huge amounts of magical and physical energy for the first transformation, and both were deadly and nearly immortal creatures that every sane wizard feared.

I'll stay, Snape growled out, I'll have to make a fire-call to Hogwarts first, but I ll be damned it I let you do something so stupid without someone to watch over you. I'm guessing you are going to be illegal.Of course. Harry said with a laugh as he opened the portrait doorway. Snape shook his head and followed Harry back to the kitchen and from there he fire-called to Hogwarts.

Severus! How is everything there? Albus said as Snape looked through the orange flames and into the headmaster's office.

Everything is as well as can be anticipated. It seems your Golden Brat and Negulus had a bit of a party last night and forgot' to let you know. Snape sneered, behind him he heard bangs and excited talking of Harry and the portrait of the cook.

What's going on over there, Severus? Albus asked with an odd gleam in his eye.

It seems the brat has a love of cooking and is making lunch. Snape said this with a roll of his eyes and a frustrated sigh, The boy insists that I stay and risk poisoning. Albus laughed good-naturedly.

Just go with it, Severus. As long as he's happy, he'll be less of a danger. It's good he has a hobby that takes his mind off of Sirius. Albus said and Snape growled in frustration, Why don't you stay there for a couple of days, Severus. You could use a break and I'm sure that Harry's lonely.Fine. I'm going to let you get back to your plotting. with that Snape broke off the call and turned to watch the energetic teen scurry around the kitchen with amused eyes. It was good for him to see his student happy, but even his stubborn mind couldn't dismiss the shadows in the green eyes. It was those shadows that Snape knew meant Harry wasn't getting a good night's rest. Dreamless Sleep wouldn't be unwelcome I wager.' Snape mused as Harry was chopping like a professional su chef.

Snape pushed off of the wall he was leaning on and cleared his throat, I'm going back down to the lab, how soon should the meal be ready? Snape asked. Harry looked thoughtful then he smiled.

Oh, I'd say about an hour. It will be served in the Library. I hope you don't mind, I really need to finish my notes on a few scrolls and revise a bit. Besides the books here are amazing, Hermione would go insane if I let her into there.

Snape looked at Harry questioningly, You won't let one of your closest friends into the Library, but you'll let your less than loved professor in there? Harry shrugged.

Yeah. Most of the texts are Dark or family magic, and my dear relatives on canvas are still a little unhappy with the muggle-born, which I can understand given history, even if I happen to think muggle-born are just fine. I'm not about to go an make them mad at me, it took me being polite and being alone with them for five days to get them to trust me enough to open some of the more sensitive rooms so that I could clean them. Besides, do you really think Hermione could see the beauty of the blood-spells or the soul-summons? Harry explained as he used his knife to guide the vegetables into a frying pan that was sizzling with oil.

I see. Snape left as Harry was adding various spices and stir frying the skillet's contents.

* * *

Hmm. . . fine. Snape growled as he took a bite of the vegetables, I'll admit it, you do have some talent at this. Harry laughed and raised a glass of cider in a mock-toast.

That's high praise. And thanks, I was worried you'd taste the arsenic or the cyanide. Harry grinned at Snape's paranoid glance at his food. Harry speared a bit of fish and a pepper and ate it with gusto, Mm. . . Hilda was right. This is a great dish.You haven't cooked this before? Snape asked. Harry laughed.

No. How could I? Those insane aurors left me with a kitchen full of the most insane and downright disgusting foods. No doubt, they all just picked up what they like to munch on and assumed that someone else was in charge of making sure I had a balanced meal. If it weren't for Hilda's help and guidance I have starved. Harry said with a rueful glance at a picture of a vegetable still-life. Snape smirked.

No wonder the headmaster was shocked that you had a shopping list by the third day. Snape said. Harry chuckled and nodded.

Yeah. So how good are you at teaching Dark magic? Harry asked with a positively devilish grin. Snape smirked.

Better than most. Why do you think I want the Defense job? The bigger paycheck? Harry grinned and they started making a schedule for them to work to get Harry as knowledgeable about the Dark arts as the Malfoy heir as well as time to plot how to ease the Black heir into the wizarding world without too many figuring out it was Harry until it was too late.

-- The End (of this part at least. I'm guessing you'll be wanting to know what a shadower is and what form Harry picks.)


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